Survivor Brochure

Have you ever felt like you are the only one this has ever happened to? As boys growing up, we have been told many lies about life. One lie is that men/boys cannot be raped or otherwise sexually abused. That is not true. Boys and men have been and continue to be the un-acknowledged victims of many types of sexual abuse. Boys have survived abuse at the hands of parents (both Mothers and Fathers), relatives, siblings, neighbors, clergy and strangers. Early sexual experiences do not make a boy “lucky”; they can cause lasting feelings of being used and make adult intimacy difficult. Men can be and have been raped by both men and women. You are not alone. You are not to blame. For more information contact: Martin 074-125-8782 martin@matrixmen.co.za www.matrixmen.org Men’s Sexual Abuse Survivors Support Meeting 1 in 6 men have survived sexual abuse at some time in their life. COMMON LASTING EFFECTS OF SEXUAL ABUSE: • Addiction to drugs or alcohol • Anxiety • Depression • Dissociation • Fear • Gender Confusion • Homophobia • Rage and anger • Impaired relationships • Isolation and Alienation • Low self-esteem • Masculinity Issues • Negative Childhood Peer Relations • Self Blame / Guilt • Sexual dysfunction/ Addiction • Sexual orientation confusion • Shame / Humiliation • Sleep disturbance • Suicidal ideas and behavior Although this is an extensive list it is by no means exhaustive. Many men can recognize the symptoms before allowing themselves to remember the actual abuse. Lost memories of portions of their childhood are common to survivors. WHAT WE DO We meet every other weekend to offer encouragement and support as fellow survivors of sexual abuse. We discuss dealing with the effects and discuss ways to heal and move forward in our lives. We provide a place where it is safe for survivors to tell the story of the abuse if desired. It is helpful to be heard by others who know what you are saying is true; no matter how much society wants to deny it. It is not our desire to merely rehash our experiences, but by being heard we can leave the past behind us and work on a future. Most survivors do not become perpetrators of abuse themselves. This group is for non-offending survivors. If you are a survivor and are abusing others we urge you to find appropriate help. This group would not be appropriate for you. HOW DO I COME TO A MEETING? It is our desire that each meeting be a place where we feel safe to share what we want and speak freely. We are currently meeting in survivors homes with men who have contacted us prior to coming to a meeting. This is purely a peer support group and is not facilitated by a therapist. We do talk with men before they come to a meeting to let them know what to expect and then give them the location of the meeting. We ask that all members of the group respect the privacy of each member and not repeat what is discussed nor disclose who is attending. You may call the member(s) listed on the back of the brochure to discuss if it would be appropriate for you to come to a meeting and to learn the location and date of the next meeting. For meeting time please call us, and we will inform you of the time and location for nearest meeting.